her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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