Me too!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
