She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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