I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
