i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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