This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
