I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
