Betty ford says i'm here all night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
