I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
