i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
