No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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