we have officially lost it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
