Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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