we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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