She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She told me I should be a condom model.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
