Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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