So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
