it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
