Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
