You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
