You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
