Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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