My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
