Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
