you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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