what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
