I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
