You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
