i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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