Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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