shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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