I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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