I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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