I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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