Tell her she can't have a vagina
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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