i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
