I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
