Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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