Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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