Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
