Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
