stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
