So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
