remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
