I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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