hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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