I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
