So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
