Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
