Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
