yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
