peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
